Have you guys ever heard of Telltale’s The Walking Dead? It’s alright if not; it wasn’t that big of a hit. The game was so under-rated that it only got around 90 Game of the Year awards. Hopefully I can turn a few of you on to this hidden little gem.
I booted up the game and saw myself handcuffed in the back of a cop car, on my way to serve the sentence for my murder conviction. The cop says he doesn’t think I did it, which only proves that he was too senile for his job. Because he was too busy chatting me up, he ended up crashing the car after a shambling fellow walked into traffic. I woke up with an injured leg, and the officer was both right next to me and on the ground ten feet from the car if you know what I mean. Since he didn’t look like he’d need them anymore, I helped myself to a shotgun and the keys to my handcuffs. Then, right after I freed myself, the cop attacked me! He kept coming after me and making these growling noises. And not the kind old people usually make, either. Just before he stuck his dentures into me I managed to load the shotgun and liberate his brain from his skull. I wasn’t sure if he was human when I met him, but he was definitely a monster now. I limped out of there like a wannabe Forrest Gump once more of those “things” started coming out of the woods.
Um, does Georgia have a “Stand Your Ground” law?
I hopped a fence and found my way inside somebody’s house and boy, was a mess! The owners didn’t even have sense enough to clean up the pool of blood on the floor. After slipping in said blood, I got up, poured myself a glass of questionable looking water and contemplated a lawsuit. I continued walking through the house and even eavesdropped on the messages on the answering machine. While listening to them, I had a sinking feeling in my stomach and realized that I’d have to deal with the things lurking outside soon enough. As I was pondering my fate, a little girl started to talk to me on the walkie-talkie I just found. Her name was Clementine; she was eight years old and the smart little rugrat was hiding from the monsters in her treehouse. All of a sudden, Clementine’s babysitter grabbed me from out of nowhere. She was clearly one of “them.” As I tried unsuccessfully to fight her off, Clem ran in and gave me a hammer. For the record, it wasn’t as if I needed her help because I totally had that situation under control. I didn’t want to seem unappreciative so I bashed the bad babysitter’s brain in. I might have gone a little overkill, but better safe than sorry. You never really know when a babysitter is dead, after all. Since she was obviously too old to drop off at a fire station I knew I would have to take care of her for the rest of a five part series.
For some reason she doesn’t appreciate it when I yell “IT’S HAMMER TIME”.