It’s hard to believe but it’s E3 time already, folks. Around this time every year thousands of sweaty people come together to show off and gawk at the latest and greatest electronic entertainment products. Also booth babes, cosplay and alcohol. For a lot of people, E3 is like Christmas. The kind of cruel Christmas where the parents make the kids stare at their opened presents for another six months before they can open it but Christmas nonetheless. So since it’s this psuedo Christmastime for so many people I’ve decided to get into the spirit of the season by writing a wishlist of what I want from E3. Read the whole article at MyTide.net.

There’s been a lot of coverage over the Xbox One since last week’s conference. We’ve all seen plenty of talk about used games, sports and a lot of other mess. While there are a lot of gamers who are smart consumers who are taking into account all the important information, it still remains true that to a large amount of the Xbox One’s eventual customers, it’s not how good the product is, but how they were sold it.

It was only a few months ago when Sony’s next-gen conference was held. The conference was analyzed pretty thoroughly by the gaming journalism community. From the PS Move puppet performance to the developers’ awkward standing, the whole thing was scrutinized. Which begs the question, what did Microsoft do better? Read the whole article at MyTide.net.

Let’s talk about one of the greatest JRPGs of all time. Chrono Trigger is the story of a boy named Crono who one day gets sucked into an adventure with time-travelling, magic and defeating evil. Also a talking frog and a beautiful cave woman. Don’t get those two mixed up. Although my experience with Crono and his pals isn’t as purebred as others’, this game will always hold a high spot in my rankings.

Now, let’s talk about rap music. I’m from Detroit, so just about everyone I knew growing up was into rap music. I really didn’t like it much, so I felt pretty left out. That is until I discovered the huge amount of nerd rap on the internet. Now I listen to rap all the time, but instead of songs about drugs and murder, I’m listening to raps about Ray Bradbury and Tomb Raider. Now I know what you’re thinking: “Norbert, you’re just rambling along so you can get your big fat internet writing paycheck”. But I assure you, this is totally relevant. Listen to this. Click here to read the whole article at MyTide.net.

If you’re at the very least someone who watched Saturday Night Live in 2008, then you should know who Joe Biden is. If not, then he is the Vice President of the United States. He’s an okay politician, besides the fact that his foot enjoys a winters in his mouth.Every once in a while he feels the need to remind us that he doesn’t know anything about how the technology industry work. This time I’m not talking about how he equated piracy with theft, or how after the Sandy Hook shooting he met with gaming industry guys instead of experts in psychology and firearms. Because why in the world would those guys know about why mentally ill people go on shooting sprees? We Americans usually try not to pay attention to Biden, but I just have to speak out about the rant he’s gone on lately. Joe Biden just suggested that we should tax violent media. Oh here we go again.

Every time a politician talks about video games it’s the same old thing. They say that “Hey, maybe all this violence isn’t because our country doesn’t put mental health a s a priority, or because you don’t need a background check to legally get an assault rifle. Let’s see if it’s these darned vidya games that’s the problem”. Only we know that video games aren’t the problem. We, the educated members of the internet know that as video games have become more popular and realistic, gun violence has dropped dramatically (although I won’t attribute causation between the two). We know that none of the studies have shown a link between games and real life violence. Unfortunately, we aren’t the ones making these laws.

“I have no idea what I’m holding”.

Another problem with this is that there wouldn’t be a good way to implement this tax. How do you define a “violent” video game? Galaga is kinda violent in a way I guess. Politicians obviously don’t know that the ESRB is a thing, since they’re always talking about how there should be a rating system so parents know what they’re buying. Are they going to tax all games that you need to be 17 or older to buy? Are they just going to put it on all games? We know that they don’t know what they’re doing when it comes to this kind of thing. It’s going to be a disaster.

But what about the tax money going towards studies about violence and helping the victims? Well, some money towards those causes would help. But if you were to tax anything to add money to that cause, how about we tax guns? I don’t neccesarily think that we should tax guns, but it would make a lot more sense to tax the weapons being used in murders than taxing Grand Theft Auto or Call of Duty (which, if you ask politicians, are the only video games that exist). But because the NRA has our government on a leash we know nothing like that is going to happen. For the forseeable future, it’s just going to be more of the same cycle. A violent tragedy happens. The media and politicians look for brownie points. Suggestions for common sense gun regulations get shot down by the people on the NRA’s payroll. Congress would rather spend government money on tax breaks for the rich instead of anything to do with the public health. Bills fail, nothing changes and we insert a quarter to play again.

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If there’s any truth to the Iron Man movies I just got a bunch of cool guy points for my classic rock reference. A while ago I was watching Main Event TV on Youtube cover news of a new Kickstarter project. It’s called GTFO: A Film About Women in Gaming. The film is set to be a documentary detailing the treatment of women in video games, both in the industry and consumer level (i.e. gamers). At first glance this seems like it could be an idea. After all, women are a demographic of gamers that gets a lot of grief. I know it’s not all of us, or even most of us, but there are a lot of male gamers who are just outright terrible towards any girl with the audacity to join an Xbox Live lobby or wear a Zelda t-shirt. It’s a problem worth discussing. So why am I wary about this film? Click here to read the whole story at MyTide.net.

Hey guys, sorry that this article is so late. I sat down to write it a couple weeks ago but someone started singing the Hong Kong Phooey theme song and the week kind of got away from me. Last weekend I was out looking to exchange a game that I had gotten two copies of for Christmas (you can see a pattern here) when I saw something that made my jaw drop so hard that my dentist can now afford to retire early. In the used PS2 section, I found what I believe to be the equivalent to an archaeological treasure. I saw a copy of .hack//Mutation and two copies of .hack//Outbreak. This is the first time in nine years that I have seen one of the original four Dot Hack games in any store. But, as luck would have it, the store didn’t have the fourth game, which is the one I need.

I didn’t take it well…

It’s about now you’re thinking, “What’s so special about some Anime game, you weeaboo creep?”. First of all, don’t call me a weeaboo unless you’re fine with getting a Special Beam Cannon to the chest. The Dot Hack games are based on the fictional MMORPG called The World. The story explores a lot of themes like interpersonal relationships and how the virtual world and real world interact. I got my first taste of the series on Cartoon Network’s Saturday Entertainment System block. Everytime I went somewhere with cable, I would always remember to get to a TV at midnight. The franchise is still one of my all time favorites in both TV shows and games. It was never super successful, mostly just a cult following. But after all these years the cult still wants more.

Must…play…more…JRPG

The franchise has made a lot of games over its life. I’ve only played three, but I’d wager that all of them were pretty good. They even decided to make a fighting game last year that I plan on buying once I have the cash. But there’s something very huge missing. The World. The World is the game inside the series that the characters play. While playing the games that were already made is great, everyone wants to play The World. We want to choose a class, join a guild, go on quests, everything. Ever since the very first game, the fans have been clamoring for a proper Dot Hack MMO. We had a halfway decent one for a while. And by “we” I mean the Japanese. And “for a while” I mean 14 months. So now we’re nowhere.

Nowhere.

A proper real life version of The World is on the top of my wishlist for unmade video games. I’m pretty confident that with the game’s fanbase it would be at least a decent success. And a new anime series (hopefully playing on Toonami) would be great too. If Defiance can pull off a TV show tie-in game in this day and age then Dot Hack can do it ten times better. Oh and while I’m writing my list to Santa, I’d really like HD releases of all of the Dot Hack games to be released on the PS3. They’re out of print, and usually pretty expensive to buy. Thanks for reading, run along now. Go level up or something.

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In Soviet Russia, games play you! Hahaha…ha…no. The reason I’m digging up this ancient meme is because I’m going to talk about Metro: Last Light. M:LL is the sequel to Metro 2033, based on the (incredible) book of the same name by Dmitry Glukhovsky. The game is a FPS survival horror Game taking place in mostly in the subway system of Moscow twenty years after a nuclear strike forced humans underground. The game was a really unique, with a variety of play strategies. Unlike many other modern FPS or survival horror games, Metro put a lot of focus on creating an engaging atmosphere and triggering the player’s emotions. Even when you’re carrying a machine gun and a stick of dynamite, you still feel vulnerable in this game. While not a smash triple-A hit, the game had a decent, almost cult, following. It had enough fans to warrant the creation of a sequel, which I have been excited for since I found out. That game is coming out this week, and Deep Silver is not getting a cent of my money. Read the whole article at MyTide.net

By now you’ve probably heard that on May 21 Microsoft will be having a conference to announce the next generation Xbox console. This is coming just a few months after Sony’s PS4 conference. We’ve got a good idea of what’s going to be in Sony’s console, so now is a fair time to start thinking about the odds of either winning the console war. Unless Microsoft has done an extraordinary amount of work undercover, Sony is already going to have the advantage of being released first out of the two. We already know what Sony’s bringing to the table, so let’s see what Microsoft needs to do to get ahead. Click here to read the whole article at MyTide.net.

Okay, show of hands: who has heard of Tropes vs. Women in Video Games? Okay, great. You can put your hands down… did you just put your hand down the front of your pants? This is embarrassing, let’s move on. Last year, Anita Sarkeesian ran a Kickstarter to fund a series of videos exploring the role females have had in video games along with the cultural and critical implications. The Kickstarter was a huge success, and for good reason. How women are treated in video games is an important and interesting thing to talk about. But I have a problem with the series so far. No, it’s not the arguments or observations she’s making. It’s the way the series is being run that’s got me nervous.

Let me start off by reiterating that I don’t have any problem with the content of the series. I can see that Anita is a reasonably smart person and I respect that she’s the first person to go this in depth in this aspect of popular culture. I don’t agree with everything she says, but then again I don’t have to. There. I’ve protected myself from the wrath of both Tumblr femenists and MRAs who don’t understand what MRAs are about. I’d really like to talk about the series. You know, give my two cents on what she’s saying. But after watching the first video, I decided that I would need to watch some subsequent episodes to really give it a fair shot. The only problem is that she hasn’t made any more.

The series premiered on March 7 and there hasn’t been another installment since. As of the writing of this article (April 27) I haven’t found any information pertaining to when the next video will be out. Not on her official site, not on her Tumblr, and not in the video’s description. I had to double-check to make sure the whole thing wasn’t a fever dream. What I want to know is what’s the holdup and why?

I’m gonna be fair and give Anita the benefit of the doubt. Let’s assume that she is continuing her day job so that the money raised by the Kickstarter ($158,922) will be used for the series and not to fund her personal expenses. Let’s assume that the delay is because of obstacles or personal problems that are out of her control. Let’s assume that she is doing everything she can to get the video up as soon as possible. Let’s assume that I’m 6’4″. But how do we know that this is all true? I’m not accusing her, I’m just looking at it through the viewpoint of a backer. If I had given money to this, I would be very worried.

Raising money though Kickstarter is kind of like giving your company an IPO. It’s not just you anymore; you have people to answer to. If your project was funded through Kickstarter or any similar service, then you have a responsibility to your backers. You have an obligation to not only provide your product or service in a timely manner, but you have to assure them that the money is being spent responsibly. That means giving timelines and updates on progress. You can’t just leave them in the dark. At the very least Anita should have given a rough guess at when the next video would be out as soon as the first episode was released. If anything changes with that date, let people know.

For the record, this is a totally appropriate way to do it.

There’s also the matter of money. You should put together a budget and release it publicly. This isn’t in response to the idiots who think that Anita should just not make the series and donate her money. This is for the people who have funded her and are legitimately concerned on how she’s spending the money. Anita’s goal was $6000 and she raised more than twenty times that amount. I can see her reasonably spending around $20,000 on the following: professional lighting, cameras, microphones, makeup, software, video game software/hardware, books, video capture equipment, graphic designers, web hosting, people to manage her website, Femenist Frequency themed merchandise and backer gifts. I have no idea how she’s going to spend the rest of that money. If she doesn’t know right now, that’s okay–I wouldn’t know what to do with it, myself. But it’s her responsibility to put her backers’ minds at rest by talking to them. I’m not picking on Anita, everything I just said applies to anyone doing a Kickstarter.

Crowdsourcing is still a relatively new way to raise money. I hope that people read this article and improve the process. And Anita, if you’re reading this, I look forward seeing the next episode of Tropes vs. Women…in ten years.

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It is the year 2013. Two-thousand freaking thirteen. And yet still no Kingdom Hearts 3. I hope you see what is terribly wrong with Square Enix just by that fact. Do you know when Kingdom Hearts 2 came out? 2005. That game is older than half of the kids on Xbox Live. They know that people have been wanting the game since the cutscene at the end of KH 2. It’s not like there hasn’t been time to develop a new Kingdom Hearts game (more on that later). So what’s the problem? 

For those of you who have never felt the pleasure of being an anime kid stalked by non-kawaii animals, I’ll give a little background on the game. Kingdom Hearts came from an insane concept that would either be the biggest thing ever or a major embarrassment.  After the human trafficking charges were dropped, everyone decided it would be a better idea to just combine the Disney and Squaresoft universes instead. Somehow the idea worked out really well (as to why deserves an article in itself). It was such a success that three years later they released a sequel that was even better than the original. That’s when things started getting weird.

Part of the appeal to the Kingdom Hearts universe is the deep and complex story. There was still a lot of story to be explored between the first and second games. So they decided to explore that…on handhelds. Four different handhelds. That’s right. Not only did they make spinoffs instead of going forward with the main story, but they alienated their original audience in the process. There have been four handheld games released since KH2. One on the Nintendo DS, one on the PSP, one on iOS and one on the Nintendo 3DS. Because obviously the best thing to do for your fans is to assume that they’ve bought a thousand dollars in hardware for long car rides. It’s not like any Kingdom Hearts fans own a PS2 or anything, right? It’s only recently that the home console crowd gets to play these games–well about half of them, really–thanks to HD rereleases. Speaking of rereleases, does anyone want to guess how many times the first game has been given an HD upgrade?

Dear Norbert
,”If you say ’2 many times’, I will cut you.”
-Love, Sora

That’s right, twice. They made and sold the same game three times and the whole world just watched. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve never played any of these spinoff games, but they seem to have well reception. I know that there’s some untold story that they want to get out of the way, but do they really need it? It seems like this plus the novel and manga adaptations are KH trying to be like .//hack with its complicated story. Maybe that isn’t what’s happening, but whatever is going on here, isn’t very satisfying. Oh well, I hear that there are some plans to come out with a proper sequel. These plans are probably written on a used napkin in some guy’s pocket, but I have hope anyway. Let’s just pray that they don’t shoehorn in Star Wars and Marvel characters.

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